I have always prided in being a carefree soul. I have been unfazed by responsibilities, assignments, exams, interviews, all my life. But, somehow, I felt all this will change once I am a mother. Because, it is indeed a huge responsibility, and you are expected to put yourself several steps behind the needs of your child. I was ready for it. But 15 months of being a mother, and there is not one thing that has changed!
These are a few points that help in moulding my life, post childbirth, the way I want to -
1. Equal parenting -
That cute little bundle of joy in your arms, no matter how much you adore and would like to believe is just yours, is not! The child’s father has equal responsibility to share as you do.
The dad should definitely step up when necessary but sometimes, the mom just needs a few hours of alone time, some quick mall runs, or just a little outing without the kids, and the dad can lend a hand for these nothings too.
Also, these undisturbed father-child moments are special too. And such a bond is always cherished.
2. Seeking & accepting help -
Parenting , since the beginning, is not easy. It is an uncharted terrain. There are no formulas to apply.
Always be a little open minded. Seek help if needed. Accept some when
offered. And if not family members, hire help if required.
You need to accept that in the rush of making everything perfect, you only
end up being disappointed. There is no harm in delegating a few things,
whichever makes you comfortable, to start with!
3. Babywearing -
This has been the biggest blessing in my journey as a mother.
The newborns are fussy sleepers. The toddlers are huge mess-creators. Babywear the little humans and make them sleep, or finish up your house chores, or attend to some office work, keeping the toddler close and not
unsupervised. I have heard of parents who have hiked mountains, or completed marathons while wearing their babies.
I am not that amazing yet. But I have definitely travelled a lot and carriers
always come in handy. There’s nothing like being handsfree and also being
so close to your child!
4. Trusting myself -
I know how overwhelming the nuances of parenting can be. And to top that, there is a world full of solicited, as well as unsolicited advice floating around. It can easily make you feel incomptenet.
But, trust your instincts. Trust in things you can achieve. Take that trip you
always wanted to. Apply for that job you have aspired for, from a long time.
Just do it!
Do not fall trap to what others say. As I said earlier, the terrain is uncharted.
You cannot follow someone else’s map. Your path is unique.
5. Do it once, do it again -
Can you not attend that yoga class by asking your husband to look after your child for an hour in the morning? Can you not join work back by hiring a nanny, or asking your mother to come stay with you for sometime? Can you not take that trip to the palaces in Europe, by simply babywearing ? Can you not just do anything by trusting yourself and your baby!
Every baby is different. How your baby will react in a certain situation is not predictable. Always give everything a try. And you’ll be surprised how adjusting these little souls can be. They might not get it on the first go, but they will.
They might not be the sweetest on your first restaurant outing. But take them again nonetheless. And one day, you will be that happy family one day, that everyone admires!
If by any chance, you are killing your dreams or letting go of your aspirations or
even postponing your fun outings, for your child, then think again! Is it absolutely necessary? Can you not still do it?
Written by Nikita Mathur
I am a dentist by profession, exploring the grounds of modern parenting with an open mind. My passion for travel introduced me to blogging and my passion for writing has me toying with more subjects now. I believe nothing can teach you to be a parent but knowledge can prepare you for it. There are no rules to motherhood, but there are instincts that teach you the right thing at the right moment!